Whirlwind
by VelmaGilmore
Summary: Revised.Previously titled A Flash of Lighting. AU. Post Sadie, Sadie. The results of a car crash alters the life that Dean became so used to living. With those results Dean must face the grief, pain, and everything else that comes with such a trauma?
1. Accident

Disclaimer: This is my disclamier for the whole story: I don't know own Gilmore Girls. It is owned by the brillant ASP and the CW. I don't earn anything from this story.

Full Summery: AU. Post Sadie, Sadie. The results of a car crash alters the life that Dean became so used to living. With those results Dean must face the grief, pain, and everything else that comes with such a truma. Will he be able to let the others around him in or push them away?

Author's note: This story was previously called A Flash Of Lighting but half way through the story I wanted to take it a certain direction but I couldn't with the way I perviously had it. So here's the new story. Thanks to NarcoGilmore for help.

_thoughts_

**other**

_**empathize**_

**Chapter One: Accident**

Dean walked away from the Gilmore house with his girlfriend's words echoing in his mind. "Please don't be upset!" Rory pleaded with him and though he told her he wasn't, he was. Her grandfather had told him he wasn't good enough to date his granddaughter! Yes he may not know what college he would go to or an idea of what he wanted to major in, or the fact that he couldn't help that he made average grades, but Rory was special! She knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life, she had known since she was four! He loved her, was that not enough?

With a heavy sigh, Dean walked up to his house noticing a yellow piece of paper attached to the door. Instantly recognizing the neat handwriting as his mother's, he read the note.

**Dean,**

**We decided to go out to dinner in Woodbridge. We should be back around ten or so.**

**-Love, Mom**

With another heavy sigh, Dean shoved the note into his pocket and went inside the house. Climbing the stairs to his room, he couldn't stop thinking about the dinner with Richard and Emily.

"This family has standards!" Richard told Rory. "You live up to them, and you should expect that everyone that you spend time with live up to them also! You are a gifted girl with immense promise, and you should learn very early that certain people can hold you back!"

Dean threw himself onto his bed, his hands covering his eyes and his face crumpled as he processed even more thoughts. How could I hold Rory back? _I know that she's smarter then I'll ever be. Maybe I could prove myself to them…I could try to take some summer courses; some advance classes somewhere. I could maybe get some kind of tutor to help in the areas that I'm struggling or I could talk to Rory but I'll never be as smart as her! I'll never be able to be better then her! Ugh, what am I going to do?_

Rolling over to his side he remembered what Rory shouted back to Richard in response. "You don't even know him! Dean is incredible and he's special to me!" Dean smiled. Rory had called him special. Maybe he was enough for her; after all, her opinion was ultimately the only one that mattered. He closed his eyes and fell asleep thinking of her.

He was dreaming, he dreamed of her a lot lately. In his dreams she would say things to him that, in the real world, he would most likely never hear. Everything was perfect in this dream world; he hated being suddenly awakened during them. Her voice suddenly became drowned out by the sound of a bell. Trying to ignore it, he desperately tried to focus on her words but the sound didn't go away. His eyes slowly opened and he slowly realized it was the doorbell that was ringing downstairs. Suddenly alarmed by the rude awakening he quickly scanned the digital clock next to his bed; it was close to one in the morning.

"I'm coming!" Dean shouted running down the stairs as the person at the door continued to ring the bell. He noticed the blue and red lights through the windows; police lights. Suddenly he felt like someone had knocked the wind out of him and his chest tightened as he opened the door with shaking hands. There were two officers standing at the door, one male and one female.

"Are you the son of May and Josh Forester?" The female officer asked and Dean suddenly found it hard to take a breath. "Y-yes, what's wrong? What happened?" He suddenly became increasingly anxious by the second. The officers exchanged glances trying to decide which of them would give the young man the bad news; it was the female that spoke up. "We're sorry to have to tell you this but your family was hit by a drunk driver earlier tonight. The driver ran a stop light and hit the right side of the car. Your father is currently at Hartford General undergoing surgery. The younger girl, I presume is your sister right?" Dean nodded earnestly. "She is still in surgery as well, but your mother…" The officer swallowed, closing her eyes and opening them just as quick as she closed them. "Your mother was killed instantly upon impact. We are terribly sorry about your loss."

Dead. His mother was dead. How could this be happening?_ I saw her today after school and she was fine_.

"Do you want a ride to the hospital son?" The male officer spoke for the first time. Dean just shook his head. "A car…" Dean choked. "I have a car." He closed his eyes wanting to fight off the wave of emotion, wanting to deny the fact that his mother was dead, and wanting to be able to move but he just could not. "It's alright son; we'll follow you to make sure you make it there safely."

Nodding, Dean turned to go back inside. Just move Dean. He commanded himself. _One foot in front of the other. Keys, cell phone, keys, cell phone. Mom always said to bring your cell phone with you no matter where you went, even if it was just to the store._ He could hear her voice. _Don't forget your cell phone Dean!_

Grabbing both he found the quick ability to get to his truck. I need to get to Clara and Dad. Mom would want me to get to them. Pulling out of the driveway, he started to speak out loud to reassure himself.

"My mother is gone, but I'll be fine. Everything is going to be okay. I have my dad and Clara. I still have them, they'll be fine. They are still in surgery, but they'll be fine and we can get though this together. Mom would want us to be able to move on and live without her. I'll…I'll be able to make you proud. Water started to leak from the corner of his eyes but he wiped them away furiously. He was not going to cry now. His chest was heaving and his arms were shaking but he had to get to the hospital.

Looking in his rear-view mirror he saw the blue and red lights flashing. He did his best to push his emotions aside, ignored his thoughts and drove.

Pulling into a parking space, he quickly jumped out of his truck almost before he could get his keys out of the ignition. He slammed the door shut and ran for the emergency room doors. He ignored the people sitting in chairs that looked like they could have possibly been waiting there for hours and headed straight for the reception desk. A nurse in blue scrubs looked up at him from her computer.

"Can I help you sir?" The nurse asked. "M-my family they were in a car accident. The cops said…they said my dad and sister were in surgery here." Dean panted almost out of breath.

"The name of your family sir…"

Cutting her off Dean nearly shouted. "Forester, its Forester!"

"Just calm down, Mr. Forester." The female officer's voice soothed from behind him. "They're doing everything they can I'm sure to save them."

The nurse looked up from the computer again. "Your father is till in surgery, I'm not positive about sister though; let me go check with the doctor. Why don't you just take a seat over there-" She pointed to a few empty seats near the desk. "And wait for the doctor to come talk to you." The nurse rose from the desk and walked down a long white hallway.

Dean walked over to the chair like a zombie. _Dad. Clara. Please be alright._ He prayed. _Please._

"Is there any other family member you would like to contact?" One of the officers asked. Dean wasn't sure which at this point, he just looked at the wall in front of him. "My grandmother…she lives in Chicago. I'll…I'll call her later." How can I tell her that her daughter's dead? How am I going to do this?"

"Is there anyone else you can call? We have to go back out and we don't think you should be alone right now." _Who could I…Rory!_ "Yes, I'll call Rory, she's my girlfriend. I'll call Rory soon." Dean could not bring himself to look at them so he continued to stare at the wall.

"Okay son, our condolences to you and the rest of your family."

"Th-thank you." And with that said they left Dean alone. He put his head in his hands and rocked slightly. My mother's dead. The realization finally hit him. She's not coming back, she is gone forever and I'll never be able to see or speak to her ever again.

"Dean Forester?" A deep male voice called out.

_Mom…_

"Dean Forester?" The doctor called again getting no response. Dean's head snapped up and his eyes met a male doctor dressed in scrubs similar to the nurse he had talked to earlier. "Are you Dean Forester?" The doctor asked.

Dean nodded. "Yes, I am. Is my dad okay? What about my sister? Are they going to survive? How are they? Please tell me!" He begged leaping out of his chair to stand up in front of the doctor. The doctor's expression didn't change.

"I'm Dr. Summers. I have viewed your father and your sister's cases.Your father is still in surgery." Explained Dr. Summers. "He sustained severe internal damage to his lungs, kidney, and liver. His right arm was crushed upon impact; we had to amputate it below the elbow. Both of his legs were broken in several places and his skull was also cracked. He has also lost a significant amount of blood but we are doing everything we can to save him."

_Oh my God. Dad…_

"What about my sister? Clara, how is she?" Dean asked becoming inpatient.

"Maybe you should sit down; this is a lot to take in all at once." The doctor suggested.

"I'm fine." Dean snapped. "Just tell me about Clara. Please." He added the please as an afterthought.

The doctor paused a few seconds before speaking. "Clara suffered some damage to the right side of her brain from the impact, a broken arm, both legs, and a few other minor injuries as well. After her surgery she slipped into a coma, she isn't completely stable yet but hopefully she will be soon."

"But she will come out of it right?" Dean asked.

"Honestly, if Clara does become stable within the next twenty-four hours she still only has a fifty percent chance of coming out of the coma."

"Can I see her?"

"Only for a short time I'm afraid. She is in ICU and you can only visit for five minutes every hour, it's hospital policy. ICU is on the fourth floor, would you like me to show you to her room?"

I should see her, I need to see her. "Yes." Dean replied. "Very well, follow me." Dean walked behind the doctor and kept his gaze forward. When they reached ICU the doctor stopped at the second door on the left and turned to Dean. "This is her room; her condition will probably alarm you." He explained opening the door for him.

Dean slowly took a step into the room and his eyes immediately focused on Clara. His baby sister lay helplessly on the bed; the right side of her head was covered in bruises. Her face also swollen and bruised. Her legs and left arm were held up in casts and a bandage covered parts of her right arm and hand. There were several wires and tubes connecting from different parts of her body to various machines next to her bed, all of which made various beeping sounds.

Dean approached the bed and stared down at his baby sister. She looked so small. So broken. "You can talk to her." The doctor said from behind him. Dean reached out and placed a hand over Clara's small bandaged one. "I'll leave you with her. A nurse will be by soon when your time is over." Dean only nodded in response.

He kept looking at his sister trying to take everything in. His eyes continued to gaze over her crippled form and followed the tubes from her body to the machine. _What if she never wakes up? _"Hi Clara." Dean's voice came out choked. "It's your brother Dean. I'm here munchkin." Dean used the nickname he used to call her when she younger but had stopped on her ninth birthday when she insisted to Dean that she was no longer a munchkin.

His thoughts were interrupted by a nurse entering the room. "I'm sorry. But visiting time is over; you can come back in an hour." Dean squeezed Clara's hand before leaving her side.

Suddenly Dean felt as if he was being smothered. The night's events flooded his head and reality really hit him this time. Dean picked up his pace down the hallway and quickly headed for the exit of the hospital. The humid air almost took away what little breath he had left when he reached the outside. Knowing things were only going to get harder from this point on, he reached in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and dialed a familiar number.


	2. Support

**A/N: Many thanks to those who have reviewed and to my lovely beta NarcoGilmore. **

**Chapter Two: Support**

The constant ringing of the phone awakened Rory Gilmore around three in the morning. Who would be calling at this time? "Hello?" Answered Rory sleepily.

"R-Rory?" Asked a shaky voice filled with pain. Rory could not recall a time when she heard

such a voice from one person, yet the voice sounded very familiar to her.

"Dean?" She hoped it was not his. If it was then something had to be wrong, she could sense it. "What is it?"

"My family's been in an accident."

"Oh my God. Are they okay?"

"No." Choked Dean.

"What happened?" Asked Rory in concern.

"I...my mom-." Dean stopped and she was not sure how much time went by before he spoke again. "My mom didn't make it.")Shock overcame her. "Oh Dean, what about your dad and Clara?"

"No. Clara's in a coma and my dad isn't in good shape either. He's still in surgery."

"Where are you at? My mom and I will come."

"Hartford General."

"We'll be there soon." Rory said gently trying to offer him some comfort.

"Please hurry." Pleaded Dean.

"I will Dean. I love you." Rory put as much emotion on the word 'love' as she could and hoped he would pick up on it. Not bothering to check to see if she placed the phone back on the receiver correctly, she bolted up the stairs to her mother's room. "Mom! Mom! Mom!" Shouted Rory running over to the bed. "Mom, wake up." She grabbed Lorelai by the shoulders and shook her harder then she probably should.

"Rory? What is it?" Asked Lorelai half asleep and half in worry.

"It's Dean, Mom. His family was in a car accident."

"Oh God!" Lorelai shot up in bed and threw the covers off of her as climbed to her feet. "Are they alright?" Rory shook her head. "His mother was killed and his sister and father are in critical condition.

"What hospital is he at?" Asked Lorelai pulling on a pair of shoes.

"Hartford General."

"Then let's go!" They ran down the stairs, out of the door, and into the jeep. Getting into the car they did not notice that they were still in their pajamas.

* * *

Dean slumped down in a chair in the waiting room. The doctor had not come back and given him any more information regarding his father. He picked at his nails nervously with each passing second. It felt like hours since he had called Rory but he knew it was only minutes. 

Around him people passed and other commotions occurred but he did not pay them any attention.

"Dean!" He turned his head to see Rory running towards him, Lorelai shortly behind. As he stood up to meet her Rory picked up her pace and engulfed Dean in a hug. He placed his arms around his girlfriend and buried his face in her hair. Rory, she's here. Pulling away, Dean looked into her blue eyes. He could tell by the way she looked at him that she was trying to find something to say. Instead she wrapped her arms around him tighter and pulled him closer.

"Have you heard anything?" Asked Lorelai.

"No, I haven't heard anything." Replied Dean.

Rory stepped back from Dean a little but still kept her arms around him. "What caused it? The crash? Here, sit down." Rory guided him back down onto the seat and sat beside him. She gripped his hand in hers.

"A drunk driver." He explained. "A drunk driver hit them. My mom was killed instantly and the doctor told me that Clara had suffered damage to the right side of her brain and there is only fifty percent chance of her coming out of the coma." Dean's voice cracked on the last part and he could feel moisture pushing its way through his eyes. He lowered his head hoping they would not see his tears. He felt an arm come around his shoulder.

"It'll be okay, kid. No matter what happens it's going to be alright." Rreassured Lorelai.

"Mr. Forester." Dr. Summers called him. Dean stood up and Rory went with him. "Is my dad going to recover?" Asked Dean.

"I'm sorry that I do not have better news for you. Your father had more head trauma then we had originally thought. When we started to operate his heart began to stop and his liver and both kidneys failed. We had to put him on life support."

"Is there any way he could...come out of it?" He asked. He needed to be able to cling to some hope that all was not lost. If there was even the smallest possibility that his father could live then he needed to hold onto it. _Please let there be someway._ "I'm sorry." Dr. Summers apologized. "With the injuries he suffered there isn't anything we can do other then keep him on life support. He won't be able to live without the life support."

"So what do I do?" Dean said anxiously. The doctor looked at the clip board in his hand and flipped through some papers before speaking. "We can keep him on life support or we can take him off of it. I know it isn't an easy choice to make but it's really just a matter of when you're ready to let go."

"I can't make a choice like that!" Dean practically shouted. A hand squeezed his and another hand his shoulder. The doctor held up his hand. "No, of course not, are these relatives of yours?" Dean shook his head. "Is there any other family you can contact?"

"I could call my grandmother." Replied Dean.

"Then it would be best if you could get her over here. She's the one who can legally make this decision. Your father is in room 515. My condolences." Dr. Summers turned around and left.

Dean could feel his body start to tremble and he sat down before his legs would not hold him up any longer. Rory once again sat beside him. Silence settled around him except for a few noises within the room. He stared at the floor thoughts rushing through is head. _How can I tell my grandmother that her daughter is? And about Clara and dad. I don't know how I can do this. I don't think I can do this._

"Dean?" Lorelai's voice broke through his thoughts but he did not lift his head to look at her.

"Dean, why don't you come back to our house…you should get some rest."

"I really need to call my grandmother." Said Dean.

"Of course, but then you should get some rest."

"Okay, I drove here what-" Lorelai cut him off. "I'll drive it sweetie. Let me have your keys."

Dean searched his pockets and held out the keys. He let himself be guided out of the hospital and into the jeep by Rory. He did not acknowledge her when Rory reached over and buckled his seat belt or when she pulled of the parking lot and onto the road. He leaned his head against the window and watched the early morning hours pass around him.

* * *

"You can sleep in my room." Said Rory when Dean entered the house. "Where will you sleep?" He asked. 

"I'll bunk with my mom. You need to sleep in a bed." Dean went into Rory's room and sat on the bed. "Do you need anything?" Asked Rory. "Any extra blankets or pillows?" She went over to the closet and started to go through things.

"No Rory. This is fine. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for anything." Rory told him as she ran a hand through his hair.

"Everything's going to be fine." She leaned down and kissed him. He wrapped his hands around her neck and pulled her closer while he deepened the kiss. Rory pulled away caressing his cheek. "Get some sleep." With a quick kiss she left the room.

Dean lay down on Rory's bed and stared at the ceiling. Taking his cellphone out he took a deep breath. He dialed his grandmother's number, counting each of the dial tones. How long could it take for someone to pick up the phone? He looked and the clock which read 4:40, 3:40 in Chicago.

"Hello." His grandmother's voice answered.

"Granny." Said Dean.

"Y-yes. It's me."

"What's wrong? Why are you calling at this hour? Did something happen?" Asked his grandmother her voice wavering with panic. Dean swallowed hard before speaking. "It's mom and dad. They were in a car crash and Clara was with them." A gasp came from the other side of the line.

"How are they?"

Dean gripped the bed sheets until his knuckles turned white. "The police told me that Mom was killed instantly."

Dean could hear her struggling to hold back tears. "What about Clara and your dad?"

"Clara's in a coma and dad's..." Dean bit down on his lip until his he could taste blood. "The doctor's had to put him on life support, Granny." His eyes were filling over with tears but he wanted to stay strong for his grandmother. "Where are you staying at?" Asked his grandmother nearly sobbing. "My girlfriend's house." Replied Dean.

"Stars Hollow yes?"

"Y-yes."

"I'll get the first flight I can and will be there as soon as possible." She was crying freely as she hung up, her sobs fading off.

Dean dropped his cellphone and let it fall to the floor. He buried his face into the pillow and clutched it. Everything was real. Telling his grandmother made it real. Closing his eyes Dean let the tears he held back all night fall from his eyes. He cried into the pillow until he was unable to fight sleep.


	3. Decisions

**A/N: Two updates in the same week! This is would not be possible without NarcoGilmore. Thanks NarcoGilmore! And to those who have taken their time to review. **

**Chapter 3: Decisions**

Lorelai woke up to her stomach growling. _Food. Luke's_. She pushed the covers back and stepped out of bed careful not to wake her sleeping daughter. After getting dressed she went to Rory's room and opened the door slightly. Peaking inside she saw Dean's sleeping form on the bed. _You poor kid_. Lorelai closed the door and started to walk outside. No one deserves this, especially not someone like Dean.

Strolling up to Luke's Lorelai noticed that most of the town was gathered in there. _How lovely_. The thought was sarcastic. _Maybe they won't ask questions_…_In Stars Hollow? Yeah, right. _Lorelai barely had the door opened and she could feel their eyes already on her. In seconds her ears were overloaded by voices.

"Lorelai!" _Miss Patty's?_

"Lorelai!" _Babbette or maybe Gypsy?_

"Is it true?"

"Are Dean's parents dead?" _Andrew's voice?_

"I heard his sister was severely injured! Oh she's just a child!"

"I saw it on the news this morning?" _Kirk's?_

"That car was wrecked! Wrecked I tell you! The right side was smashed in!"

"Lorelai!"

"I heard the other driver was drunk and he died too!" Lorelai closed and opened her eyes to try to register the rest of the voices.

"How is he?"

"The poor boy!"

"Lorelai!"

"Enough!" Luke bellowed. "That's enough! Let her get in the door for God's sake!" _Silence finally. _

Lorelai walked to the counter and looked around the diner. Every face was staring at her, waiting for her to say something. "His mother died instantly." Gasp filled the diner. "Clara is in a coma and his father was placed on life support. As far as the other driver goes, I don't know. But Dean is staying with Rory and I until his grandmother gets in." Lorelai lowered her gaze to the ground. "I don't know anything about funeral arrangements or what is going to happen with his father or his sister. All I can tell you is that he's devastated and must be going through something that I'm sure some of us here can't understand. For your family to be involved in something like this...it's not fair." Lorelai trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say. Around her the townsfolk were exchanging glances. Luke was the one to break the silence.

"He just needs time to himself. Everything will fall into place." Luke reached across the counter and patted her shoulder. The people in the diner started whispering to each other. "What can I get for you?" Asked Luke.

"Food." Lorelai simply stated. "For me, Rory and Dean."

"Okay so everything on the breakfast menu for twelve people plus Dean, got it. Just give me ten minutes." He scribbled on his note pad and disappeared into the back. "Lorelai!" Lorelai turned around to come face to face with Lane.

"I heard the news! Where's Rory? Is Dean staying with you? How is he? He must be so hurt! Tell me is-" Lorelai held up a hand to stop the ranting Korean girl.

"Yes Dean is staying with us for now. He and Rory were still asleep when I left."

"What's going to happen?" Lane asked concerned.

"I don't know, Lane." Answered Lorelai honestly. "I really don't know. He needs some time. He needs to be around the people who care about him, Rory mainly."

"Right, of course, she being the girlfriend and he being the boyfriend…that makes sense." Babbled Lane.

"Order's ready, Lorelai." Luke called putting two bags on the counter. She picked up the bags and laid some money out. "Thanks Luke."

"Anytime Lorelai."

* * *

The late morning sun shone though the window of Rory's room hitting Dean's face. He rolled away from the light pulling the blankets over his head. The blanket felt unfamiliar beneath his hand. He realized the blanket was not his, he was not in his bed, and this was not his room. With a jolt Dean was sitting up in the bed looking around the room. This is Rory's room. The previous nights events came rushing back to him. The car crash, the cops telling him his mother was dead, Clara, and his dad. Dean flopped back down onto the bed._ I thought maybe it was a horrible nightmare and soon I was going to wake up_. _Why can't this just be a nightmare? _He remembered the phone call he made to his grandmother and checked his messages. 

"Dean, it's me." His grandmother's voice was clear but with a hint of sadness. "My flight will be landing at the Hartford Airport around two. If you're able to pick me up that would be fine but if you can't I can wait until your aunt and uncle arrive. Bye." _She would want to go to the hospital to see Clara. I should take her to hospital. _

There was plenty to do…the funeral for his mother. Would he have to help plan the funeral and would people expect it of him? They hardly saw other family members and they were not close to them so why would they help? What about dad and Clara? There's still a chance that Clara could wake up. I need to stay close to her but I can't live by myself. That would mean Granny would have to move here. There's so much to think about! A knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts.

"Dean?" Rory knocked on the door. "Are you awake?"

"Yes." Rory opened the door and stepped inside. "My mom went to Luke's and got food. There's lots of food to choose from. I think she ordered everything off the menu. My mom put aside a few rooms at the inn, four or five I think. I don't remember but I'm sure there will be more if needed." Dean put his hands on her shoulders. "What is it Dean?"

_She's doing so much for me_. He leaned in and kissed her. She returned the kiss and pulled back a little. "Thank you for everything." He said. Rory shook her head and hugged him. "You don't have to thank me for anything Dean or thank my mom for anything either. You got that?" Said Rory sternly but gentle. "But-" Dean tried to protest but Rory cut him off by putting a finger on his lips. "No, Dean you don't need to thank me for anything. I'm your girlfriend it's my duty to take care of you. I'm going to be here at your side. Clear?" Dean answered her with a kiss. He drew her closer to him and inhaled her scent. _She smells like coffee._

"You should eat something." Said Rory taking his hand in hers and pulling him towards the kitchen. Not wanting to argue Dean went with her. Out on the table there were several white trays filled with food. "Help yourself." Rory handed him a plate. Dean eyed the different choices his eyes settling on the pancakes. His mother always made pancakes on Saturday. Not anymore. The thought was bitter and he gripped the plate tighter.

"Is something wrong Dean?" Asked Rory meeting his eyes. Dean shook his head. "No. Everything's fine." He hoped she did not notice the lie. If she had she decided not to say anything and started to eat. Dean gave a quick glance at the pancakes before searching for something else.

He decided to have eggs instead.

* * *

The Hartford airport was crowded with people bustling about from here to there. Dean stood in the middle of a hallway waiting for his grandmother to walk through the doors. _What am I going to say to her when I see her? I suppose a hello would be the best_. He saw her coming towards him, pulling a suitcase behind her. Teresa Knight was sixty-one years old and of medium height. He never thought of her as old. She was pretty healthy for her age but she looked older from the last time he had seen her. Her usual white curly hair was flat and not in its normal style. He walked half way to meet her and saw her face. It looked worn and tired. 

Of course she looks worn. Her daughter's dead. "Hi, Granny." Said Dean. "Hello Dean." Replied Teresa. She sat her suitcase aside and gave him a quick hug. "I'm parked just outside." He told her taking her suitcase. "How are you Dean?" Asked Teresa. "I'm okay." Replied Dean. How does she expect me to be? Maybe she's just trying to make conversation. "My girlfriend's mother she runs an Inn, she put aside a few rooms. Would you like to stay at the Inn...or maybe the house?" He had not thought about the house until now. Why not? It's not like anyone is staying there. "I think the house would be fine. You should have someone to stay with you. You can't stay at your girlfriend's forever. What was her name again?"

"Rory. Rory Gilmore." He said. They walked to Dean's truck not saying anything else for a time.

"Have you heard anything else about your father or Clara?" Teresa asked entering the passenger side. Dean shook his head. "Not since last night. Would you like to see them before we go to Stars Hollows?" Teresa was quit for several minutes as if pondering the question. "Yes." She said slowly. "I would like that."

Dean started up the truck and drove to the hospital and not another word was spoken on the way there.

"Clara's room is in ICU right through here." Dean told her as they reached the room. A nurse in green scrubs walked out the room with a clip board in her hand. "Oh hey there." The nurse was short with light blonde hair pulled back into a bun. "I'm Nurse Maggie. You're family I assume." He and Teresa both nodded. "I don't have any better news but I don't have worse news. Her vitals are still the same and she's not breathing on her own just yet but hopefully that will change. When she does start breathing on her own we can move her into a more private room until then she'll have to stay here. You can go in and see her now if you're ready." Maggie told them and left to go to another room.

Teresa went into the room while Dean stood in the door way. He heard her gasp and watched her put her hand over her mouth. Dean turned away so he could give her some privacy. Some time passed and he heard her voice as she spoke to Clara. "Hello there Clara. Your grandmother's here..." He tuned the rest of her out as he thought about his father. The last time he saw him was Friday morning when he left for work. Dean did not even say goodbye. He could only picture what he looked like now. Hooked up to machines like Clara and laying in a hospital bed without a right arm. Dean shook his head to be rid of the mental image.

A hand rested on his shoulder. "Let's go see your father, Dean." Said Teresa leaving Clara's room. "Where is he at?"

"Room 515."

It seemed a while before they reached the room. His footsteps echoed in the hallways. Doctors, nurses, and other people passed them. Some were talking to the other and some were alone hurrying to get to their destinations. Different voices came over the intercom paging doctors to areas of the hospital. Dean stopped outside the room with 515 written in brose numbers. The door was slightly ajar and he could see his dad lying on the bed through the crack in the door. Pressing on the door with some more force Dean opened it enough to step in.

The reality of his dad's condition was even worse then what he had imagined early. There were more machines and tubes connected to his body then with Clara. The top of his head was completely covered in bandages. There were casts on both his legs and a bandage covering below his right elbow where his arm used to be. The sight was enough to make him sick. _Oh God, Dad_. Dean shifted his gaze to the tiled floor unable to look longer at his father's broken body. Try to remember him before this. He closed his eyes but he could not erase the image of how his dad was just now. Behind him he heard his grandmother let out a choked sob.

"What exactly did..." He could hear her swallow and the rest of her voice came out thick. "What exactly did the doctor say Dean, about him?"

"The doctor said that he wouldn't be able to live without the life support. There's isn't any way he can...come out of it." He continued staring at the floor so he would not have to face her. "So there isn't any hope?" Dean did not answer nor could be bring himself to. His grandmother tugged on his arm. "Come on Dean. I'll go talk to the doctor and then we'll go back to the house. I'll cook something for us to eat and we can go from there. Okay?" Her voice flattened on the last few words. Dean agreed by nodding. There was not anything he could say. Nothing seemed to be right.

Teresa placed the casserole on the table. "This was all I was able to find. It doesn't look like your mother went grocery shopping lately. She never did like dealing with the grocery store. She always complained that you never received a decent amount of food for the price you paid for it. "She smiled lightly and Dean tried to bring himself to return the smile but his mind focused on the word 'was'. Past tense. Dean drummed his fingers on the table, his eyes looking around the room.

The house seemed too empty now. At this time his mother would have been fussing at his dad trying to get him away from whatever he found was so interesting on the television. Clara would be running around chatting away about something she had heard from a friend and asking his mom if what she had heard was true. Once everyone was at the table Clara would eat as fast as she could to get back to the phone to call her friends. Dean would tease her and she would stick her tongue out in return causing their mother to scold Clara about table manners. His dad would ask how he was doing in school and his mother would ask about Rory.

"Dean." His grandmother's voice brought him out of his memory fogged brain. "Your casserole is getting cold." Dean picked at his food and ate a few bites. "I'm not really hungry." He said. "You should try to eat more." Encouraged his grandmother. Dean took another bite. "I talked to your father's doctor. To see what we...what I should do." Dean did not speak and an uncomfortable silence settled around them. "Dean." Her voice was soft and she reached over the table to put her hand on top of his. Dean pulled away before her hand landed on his.

Dean met her eyes briefly and he could see a flash of hurt in hers but she kept speaking. "You already know that without the life support your father can't live-" Dean cut her off. "So we take him off of it and he dies?"

"Dean-"

"I don't want to listen to this." Dean stood up to leave but what his grandmother said next made him stop. "Your father is already gone without the help of the machines. Those machines are keeping his heart beating. Dean it kills me to say this, you have no idea how much I wish for it not to be like this but he's gone the life support is only prolonging the inevitable." Dean refused to look at her. _It's true and you know it. He's already dead_. "So what now?" He asked helplessly.

"What do you think your mother would want?" He had not thought of that before. What would his mother want? Would she want them to keep her husband living with only machines or would she want them to let him go? What am I supposed to say? "I don't know." His grandmother sighed. "Dean, he can't stay on it. I don't think it's right or fair to him." Dean wanted to scream at her. _You think it's fair for me? _It was not fair to him that his dad was barely alive. It was not fair to him that his family was hit by a drunk driver and it was not right for him to lose both parents. "What now?" He asked again. "We can go to the hospital tomorrow and I will tell the doctor. You can...we can tell him goodbye." Teresa's voice was low and came out almost in a whisper. Dean did not say anything to her when he walked out of the room. He went to his room and immediately called Rory.

"Hi." Answered Rory.

"Hey." Dean replied.

"Dean? Did your grandmother get in okay?"

"Yes." His voice was unsteady.

"What is it?"

"We visited Clara and my dad after I picked her up. She decided that it would be best if my dad was taken off the life support."

"Oh Dean? When?"

"Tomorrow. We're going to the hospital tomorrow." His hands were shaking and he almost dropped the phone.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He shook his head even though Rory could not see it. "No. It should just be her and I."

"Should I come over there now?"

"No Rory. I only wanted to tell you." In truth Dean wanted to hear her voice. He did not want to act like he was pushing her away but he wanted to be alone right now. He hoped she understood that. "This isn't fair Rory." He told her.

" I know Dean. I wish I can make it better. I love you."

"Love you too. Night, Rory."

"Goodnight Dean." Dean waited for her to hang up before he did.

* * *

He was back in room 515 but he was not by himself. His grandmother was standing beside him and Dr. Summers and another nurse were standing by several monitors. 

"Are you sure you don't need more time?" Asked the doctor. Dean looked at his father's face. _There isn't enough time for me to tell him goodbye. _

"We're sure." Teresa answered for them. The doctor nodded to the nurse who started to shut off the machines.

For six seconds the heart monitor beeped and then flat lined. Dean left the room still hearing the sound in his mind.


	4. Arrangements

**A/N: Thanks to ****michelexXx** **for betaing(is that even a word?) and to my reviwers. You guys rock socks. **

**Chapter 4: Arrangements**.

Dean walked into a dimly lit room surrounded by different colored caskets. He had asked to come along with his grandmother to help her pick out his parents' caskets… _I shouldn't let her do this by herself._ There were other family members in town; uncles, cousins, aunts, and some other distant relatives that he was not close to them. He heard from them on holidays and the occasional family reunion. Besides, he was their son and a part him felt he had to. Dean ran his hand over the lid of a white casket feeling its smooth surface. He lifted the lid and it made a creaking noise as he did. Inside it was white lining that matched the outside. He closed the lid and looked at the casket across from it. There was a walnut colored casket by the white one and the light shone on it giving it some shine. He walked over to it and ran his hand over the lid, it was smooth like the white one.

The light was turned on all the way and Dean looked up startled. In the doorway stood his grandmother and the funeral-home director. "Dean?" Teresa spoke going over to his side, "Did you find something." Dean gestured to both of the caskets. "These two. I think the white one should be for mom and the brown one for dad. Unless you think there should be something different." Teresa glanced over the caskets and then back to the funeral-home director. "These two will be fine."

"Those are both fine choices made by the best experts. They speak of your deep feelings for the departed. Shall we discuss prices?" The funeral-home director said turning to leave. Dean went to follow his grandmother out the room but looked back at the casket. _What if they don't like them? After all they're the ones that are going to be buried in them forever. Six feet under. _

"Dean?" Teresa asked. "Is something wrong?" Dean debated telling her but then decided against. _She'll say it wasn't a good idea to come along and tell me to go home. _"No. Nothing's wrong." He forced himself to say. "Come along then." Teresa ushered. Dean left the room without giving the caskets another thought.

* * *

Dean was sitting at the dinning room table with his grandmother, papers around them. He did not know what the majority of them were about nor did he care. Teresa had a yellow notepad held in her hand and would write something down every so often. She peered up from writing at one point and looked at Dean "What type of flowers?" She asked him. 

"What?" Dean responded unsure what she meant.

"What type of flowers do you think there should be? I was thinking sunflowers for your mother since it was her favorite flower but I don't know about your father. What type of flowers do you think there should be for him?"

_Mom always did like sunflowers. _"Sunflowers sound good for mom. Umm...I don't know about dad. Something manly I guess. Is there such thing as a manly flower?" He tried to think of time, if there was any time, his dad mentioned flowers. _The only time he ever thought of flowers was buying them for mom. He was never a flower person. I'm not a flower person. Guys aren't flower people. Why would she ask me this? _Dean pondered for a second. _Oh, that's right. You didn't want her to do this by herself. You wanted to be involved. _

His grandmother smiled slightly. "Not really Dean. Perhaps something yellow?"

"Yellow. That sounds good. Or green. His favorite color was green." _Or was his favorite color blue? Great, now I can't remember. _Green would have to do. Teresa went back to writing and talked without looking back up. "I was thinking maybe we could have the wake at that Weston's Bakery. It's a nice place for the rest of the family and friends of your parents to gather. With the way I've seen the people in the town act I'm sure Weston's wouldn't mind. Is there another place you have in mind?"

"No. Weston's is fine." Dean said then mumbled, "Even though dad's didn't like wakes."

"What was that Dean? You can tell me."

"I said dad didn't like wakes. He would say that the funeral was depressing enough." Teresa did not say anything for some time. "Very well then. Since you're father didn't like them there won't be a wake."

"How are we going to tell people? Most of them will be expecting one right?"

"Yes, most of them would. We can put it in the program."

"What sounds right? 'After the burial there will not be a wake'?"

"Maybe something a little more formal. 'By request of the family a wake will not proceed the burial'?"

Dean nodded in agreement. "That sounds good. What about pictures for the program? Should there be a separate one of each of them or one together?" He could not explain it, but every little detail felt important to him. Everything had to be just right. He did not want anything to be wrong. This was his goodbye to them and everything _**needed **_to be just right.

"I have several pictures I found here." Teresa moved papers aside and pulled out a few photos. Dean took the pictures and looked through them. The first photo was of his mother taken last Christmas. She had her hair pulled back, a smile on her face, and was wearing the candy canes earrings that Clara had made. _And badly made too. _Dean thought. _This doesn't really show who she was. _Dean tossed the picture to the side and moved on to the next. The second one was of his father. He was turned to the side and was wearing sunglasses. Dean could not remember where it was at or when. _This one won't work; you can't even see his eyes._ He flipped through several more but nothing was good enough. _I need there to be one so when people see it they will be able to see them how they were. Not some posed fake photo. _

Dean came to the last picture and half grinned. The picture was taken at the beach the summer before they moved to Stars Hollow. Both his parents were standing on the sand. His father had his arm wrapped around his mother's shoulders and his mother was leaning her head towards his father. They were both smiling and waving and a few seagulls were present in the background. _This one is perfect. _He handed it over to his grandmother who took it and gave a little sad smile. "This one's lovely Dean."

Teresa spent a few minutes writing on her notepad again before speaking. "Now Dean," She started hesitantly. "Would you like to say a few words at the service?"

"Uhh..." Dean had not thought of it. _Should I say something? I should right? People are going to be expecting me to speak but I've never been good at speaking in front of people. _His grandmother must have seen Dean starting to look panic. "Dean it's okay. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"No, I should say something. I will."

"Are you sure? Because you don't have to."

"I'm sure, Granny."

"You don't have say much. I was going to speak as well."

"I said I would speak."

"Okay then. Well, I think everything's been decided. We should talk about what's going to happen after the funeral."

Dean frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" He asked puzzled.

"I'm talking about the living arrangements." Teresa said sternly.

"Oh." Dean had tried not thinking about it, wanting to make it pass the funeral.

"You know your parents left me in charge of you and Clara if anything happened to them."

"I know."

"I was thinking maybe I would came and stay with until you graduate high school." Teresa offered.

Dean was surprised by her remark. He thought she would insist on him moving to Chicago to live with her. "Really?" Teresa nodded in response. "This wasn't an easy decision for me to make Dean but with you settled in school here and Clara in the hospital. I need to be here for you and Clara. I don't know if we'll be able to stay in this house though." She confessed.

"What? Why not?" Dean asked.

Teresa sighed. "Dean, what your parents have left in their bank accounts is going mostly towards the hospital bills and the life insurance is for the funeral expenses and keeping Clara in the hospital. It's just me and you Dean until Clara wakes up."

"If she wakes up." Muttered Dean.

"I'm sure there's a smaller house around here somewhere and it's not like we're going to be moving tomorrow. We can take sometime to find a house." Dean was not too happy at all about what his grandmother had said. _What can I do about it? It's not like it matters. This is just a house Dean._ "Sounds good." Dean's voice was flat and emotionless."

"Dean I know you don't like the idea but it's for the best."

"If you say so." Dean said his voice still emotionless.

"Dean-"

"No, Granny. It's fine. I'm fine. Are we finished?" Dean was growing impatient and he needed to leave the room. _I don't want to talk about this anymore. _

"You know Dean if you need to talk-"

"I don't. Can I go, please?" Teresa sighed but gave in.

"Yes you can. If I come across anything else I'll come talk to you."

"Okay."

Dean got up and went to his room irritated. He never thought about having to move to another house now that they were not here anymore. _Why can't we stay in this one? Is there not enough money to live here? _The memories of them were here and if they moved those memories would be gone. _What about their stuff? What am I going to do with all their things? Give it all away so someone else can have them? And what about Clara's stuff? She doesn't have any use of it now but what if she wakes up? Uh! I can't think about this._

He went over and sat at his desk. He pulled out a notebook and a pen. _What can I say at the funeral? _He opened the notebook, the blank white paper staring back him. He began to write repeating his words as he wrote them. "My parents were great people. Always looking out for my sister and I-" Dean ripped the paper out of the note book, balled it up, and threw it towards the wastebasket. He picked up his pen and tried writing again. "My parents Josh and May Forester, were great people. Both of them always seemed to know what to do in tough situations and solved them with…Ugh! No. This isn't right!" He tore the page out of the notebook and handled it like the previous one.

_Think, Forestor, how hard can this be? They were your parents you should be able to say something about them. Tell them how they were, the truth. _He pressed the pen to the paper and tried again. "I never fully got along with my parents. What teenager does? But they always took care of Clara and I and not just because they were my parents and that was part of their job. But because..." _Because why? Do you even know where you're going with this? Forget it._ Instead of ripping the page out, Dean tossed the whole notebook towards the trashcan. The notebook hit the trashcan knocking it over.

Frustrated, Dean pressed his wrist into his forehead. _How can this be so hard? _Dean let out a heavy sigh. _I'll think of something later. _Dean looked over at his clock; it read four-thirty. _The funeral isn't until two tomorrow. I have almost twenty-three hours to think of something. _Dean ran a hand through his hair. He turned around in his chair and noticed that the door to his closet was partly opened.

He walked over to his closet and fully opened the door. He pushed clothes aside until he reached the back of the closet. Dean took out two suits. The only ones he owned. One was a dark blue and the other one was black. _When was the last time I wore any of these? Do they even fit me anymore? _The dark blue one looked way too small for him now and he threw it to the side, not caring where it landed. He held up the black one in front of him and studied it. The jacket had rather large hole in it on one of the sleeves and it was wrinkled on some parts. _I need a new jacket. I can't wear this to the funeral. _He looked the suit over again. Something was missing.

_Tie, I need a tie. _Hanging the suit on the doorknob of his closet, Dean went over to his dresser and drug through his dresser. He shoved articles of clothing out of the way trying to find a tie. He only had one and it was blue. _How can I not have a black tie? I should own a black tie. _He needed to find a tie and a jacket for tomorrow. Grabbing his wallet on the way out of his room, Dean rushed down the stairs to the door. "I'm going out! I'll be back later!" He shouted back as he closed the door loudly.

* * *

Dean pushed the door opened to 'The Store For Men', a bell ringing above the door as he walked in. A rather enthusiastic Kirk greeted him. "Welcome to Stars Hollow 'The Story For Men' where we carry anything from church wear to prom wear. Today is fifty percent off Monday. Where everything in the store is fifty percent off. Is there anything which I can help you with today?" Dean tried hard not to look annoyed. He did not want to deal with Kirk today.

"I'm fine Kirk."

"Are you sure? Because I will be very happy to help you. It's my job to see to it that you, the customer, receive the things that you are looking for."

"Kirk." Dean said growing aggravated. "If I need your help I will ask. Alright?"

"Very well then. I'll just be behind the counter if you need my assistance."

Dean headed over to rank full of black jackets. He glanced at the tags until he found his size. He quickly tired it on. The sleeves were a little big but other then that it was a perfect fit. "I must say that jacket looks nicely on you." Kirk said from behind the counter. "Umm...thanks Kirk." Dean was a little weirded out by his remark but then again it was _**Kirk**_ after all.

With the jacket in his hands Dean went over to the ties. There were a variety of colors and types of ties. _I just want a plain black tie_. He picked up several but they were either too large or too small. "Do you need some help there? I like to think of myself as an expert when it comes to picking ties out. I have worn plenty in my life time."

"No thanks Kirk." Dean looked over the ties again but did not see anything to his preference. The bell went off over the door but Dean kept looking through the ties.

"Hey Dean." What was Rory doing in the store?

"Oh, hi Rory." Dean met her eyes with his. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you through the window and thought I would come and see what you were doing. I tried to call but you didn't answer." Rory explained. Dean checked his pocket but his cell phone was not there. "I must have left it at home. I'm trying to pick out a tie but I can't seem to find one."

"Do you want some help?"

"Please?"

"Oh, that's right. Accept help from the girlfriend but not from the person whose job it is to help people." Rory glared at Kirk who immediately shut his month and starting busying himself with something at the counter.

Dean watched Rory's hand roam above the ties and she eventually picked up a black one. "Here. Try this one and it's silk." Dean held the tie up to the mirror. He started at his reflection. "This one's good." Rory smiled happy and held up another tie. "And there's a special. Two ties for fifteen, you can't beat that." Dean smiled back. "No, I suppose you can't."

"Is there anything else you need?"

"No. This was it." Rory's smile grew. "I was thinking maybe we could eat at Luke's and then go back over to my house and watch a movie. Unless you don't feel like watching a movie or eating at Luke's." Dean shook his head. "Luke's and a movie sound good." He paid for his jacket and ties; Rory was standing by the door holding out her hand.

Dean took Rory's hand and she gave his a slight squeeze. She kissed him on the cheek and they walked over to Luke's.


End file.
